Wednesday, January 27, 2010

One Day at a Time with Wesleigh Jane!






Well, I have to admit that today wasn't quite as magical as I had hoped. This morning started good. Wesleigh again slept through the night and didn't wake up until 8:00. She was happier this morning, but not thrilled. We had a tour with our guide scheduled which was fine except that it was raining and cold. Our guide insisted we get out and walk though this garden in the rain...great fun! We went to the cloud baroke institute. Jiangsu province is known for their hand woven baroke fabric. It was very interesting and really neat to see the workers hand weaving the fabric. I got a framed piece to put in Wesleigh's room. Our trouble began when our guide took Wesleigh from me because she thought I was tired from holding her. Wesleigh was fine with it...in fact, a little too fine. I got her back but on the bus she was crying and the guide took her from me again. She immediately stopped crying which killed me, although I completely understand that she represents what Wesleigh is familiar with. I am still completely opposite. When I took her back at the hotel, she cried to leave the guide. Not a fun experience.

The good news is that Richard is making great strides with her. He fed her lunch and then put her in bed for a nap. She didn't fight him. When she woke up, he went in and got her, gave her a snack and then brought her into the other room to play. We actually got a few small smiles from her and she stood there on her own. It was fun to see a little of her personality start to show. She is not feeling great. She has a very wet cough so I started the antibiotic a few days ago and am hoping it will get better soon.

When I laid her down tonight she was crying a little so I laid in my bed right beside the crib. She just laid there and stared into my eyes for the longest time. I told her that I loved her and I would never leave her. It was very sweet and I think a very good sign. She is now sleeping, and I will be following her shortly.. I am exhausted!!

Everyday has been better than the last and that's all I can hope for. I know that tomorrow will be better than today. We'll bring Wesleigh's stroller tomorrow so the guide won't want to pick her up. Friday afternoon we will leave here and head to Guangzhou where we will be with our original, wonderful guides. I am looking forward to that.

You can see how absolutely adorable Wesleigh looked today. Kristie...I was told today that I have champagne tastes because her outfit was so soft and it fit her perfect. Everyone got a big kick out of her flower on her hat. I have to say, I totally enjoy making people look twice.

Enjoy the pics. I'm going to bed...Tomorrow will be a great day!

33 comments:

DiJo said...

Jen,
As I said in my email, I am giving you one more day for Day 3!! :) Technically, Thursday in China at 2:00ish you will have had her for 72 hours. So, I am re-setting the start time of the "Magical Day 3!" I think I did that with Ruby too! :)

It is an honor to post for you, and a privilege to lift you up my sweet friend. I absolutely LOVE the "Tea Cup" in her stylish ensemble today.
I know you are having fun dressing her up!!! She is ADORABLE in that hat! Good thing you and Kim and I do not live close to each other! :)

I look forward to what the New Day 3 brings. Sweet Dreams to a very special Mama!

Love,
Di

Deanna said...

I agree, tomorrow is a new day. She seems to be doing very well considering the ENORMOUS changes happening to her. She doesn't know it, but she has waited for you just as you waited for her. Blessings!! Y'all have a great day tomorrow. She is adorable and I know you guys are enjoying her. The picture of her and Richard is to die for!!

Marcy said...

Jennifer, she is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I enjoy hearing how sweet the boys are with her. That is how Justin was/is with Haley. Miss Wesleigh will be spoiled rotten in no time! How lucky is she to have three brothers watching out for her. I'm so glad she is warming up to Richard also. She seems to be a natural born bow head!! LOVE IT! Still keeping all of you in my prayers. Take care.

Jenn said...

Jen,

I know how hard and painful it is to see the child that you have prayed for for so long, crying for someone else other than yourself. When we were in China a little over a year ago, Karleigh Mei refused me. It hurt SO MUCH and at times I wondered if we were doing the right thing and I would just long to go home and life be back to "normal". But, every day it got a little bit better. One of the things that I had was a hip carrier. Because she accepted my husband so readily, I was the only one that wore her. I really think that this helped. Is there anyway you could find one there? If not, don't worry about it, as I trust that the Lord has such a wonderful plan! Keep taking those baby steps along with her and just love, love, LOVE her! One day, you'll look back and be amazed at how far the Lord has brought you!

I'm praying for you!

Jenn (AWAA family)

Anonymous said...

A multitude of prayers are in the process of being answered. God is bringing hearts together. Wesleigh is starting to recognize you and Richard for what you are, parents. Every child wants a loving father and mother but she has never known what that is up to this point. She will recognize it soon and react to it in an enormous way. Y'all are on a mission ordained from God, He will never leave of forsake you, therefore His mission will be accomplished - a loving mother and father for Wesleigh, with three brothers that will do anything for her.

From a distance I can see the progress. Sometimes while you are in the middle of the battle it is hard to see the accomplishments. Hang in there baby!!!! you too Richard!!! Both of you are equipped for this new journey because Jesus is with you.

Love all of you and can't wait to see y'all next week.

Love,
Daddy

3 Peanuts said...

Jennifer,

I know it might not ease your pain to hear that it is actually good and healthy that Wesleigh grieve. I know you just want to ease her fears and pain. If she holds it all in and tries to be the "perfect baby" for you..that is not good. Through this pain, you will be even closer, trust me. Kate did not reject me but she mourned and grieved painfully every night. It was so sad.

When people have asked (and a few have) if my connection is as strong with her as it is with my bio kids, I tell them that in ways it is stronger because I had to earn her love. And I did. She did not trust me. She grieved her foster Mom for a long time. But in the end the things we work the hardest for are by far the most rewarding. ASk the Lord to help you. As it hurts and she cries, look up and ask Him to hold you.

You will earn the love and the trust from WJ as will Richard. It takes time and it should ...It would not be "normal" for her to trust and love you right away. Like Di said, I think it will be much better today.

And even after writing all of this, I know it still is SO hard.

We love you and are praying for you here.

Blessings,
Kim

Debbie and Sam said...

Hold on, it will come. Our breakthough day came on Day 5 which was well after eveyone else's in our group. Even then it was still not as dramatic as the others in the group. Best of luck on your journey.

Jennifer O'Cain said...

Jennifer,
It is so wonderful to see the pictures of Wesleigh with her family. She is the cutest little thing!

We too had problems with our guide in China. Our daughter wanted to cling to him and in public would just reject us. She would ask about him all the time when on our own. It was hard to handle. I am praying for you, it is so hard to know what to do when you are in China. Things will be easier when home and all she has is you!

Jennifer O'Cain

Love the hat!

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Each day is better then the next.. You are doing what is right.
Keep giving her all the love..
love her cute little hat and outfit..
Love the photos ....
Wesleigh is tooo cute..
Hugs for tomorrow..
you will do wonderful..
love ya girly..

Football & Fried Rice said...

Oh, Jennifer, people had some amazingly thoughtful comments, that I could just "second". I am so sorry that it's hard. I heard someone put it best when they said that WE (the parents) waited for this time for a LONG time - waiting to hold our kiddos- but THEY weren't waiting for us - they weren't even expecting us & it really hard for them..

My heart broke in China when on the in country airplane Mya couldn't be consoled. The flight attendant came and TOOK her out of my arms. She took her up to first class & sat with her. I sat back in coach & bawled. Finally, I decided to go up & see her. I sat down across from the woman holding my daughter. Mya kept staring at me listlessly, but refused to move out of the woman's arms. We'd been together for 5 days. I was crushed. Even angry. Confused. Hurt.

I definitely think by the end of the 2 weeks there was progress - more trust than there was before. It is such a hard, hard thing - and my heart hurts for Wesleigh Jane this morning, for you. You keep loving on that darling little Tea Cup!

I love seeing WJ in Richard's arms. Please know that you are being prayed for & loved over here in the USA and we all can't wait to see you HOME.

Hugs,
Sara

Denise said...

Oh Jennifer, it is so hard to watch your child grieve, but as everyone else has said, it is so good. Maggie had her ups and downs in China, but it did get better each day. And be prepared that it may even continue at home, especially at night when the grieving seems the hardest. Through those time I just kept imagining one of my boys being taken from us at that age and what it would have been like for them...so be patient with her and pray for God to help you through it...He will for sure!
Also, I didn't use the stroller at all in China and carried Maggie everywhere. I would try to do that as much as possible if you can.
Hugs and prayers~

Dawn said...

Let me just start by saying...WHAT A DOLL!! and THAT HAT!!! She is just so precious. Hang in there and continue to listen to your heart...right now the guide is familiar to WJ, her smell, her look, her language, but as you consistently show WJ you love her and will care for her, she will feel that. You have so many praying for you...continue to rely on God for strength. Don't you just love watching your boys with her...I bet she rocks their world!!! xoxo

Somewhere In The Sun said...

Everyone has given such wonderful sweet comments and they are all so right. This process must happen for her to heal and bond with you. Remember, bonding is not love, it is trust. The love will come, it's a given. The trust is the most important thing right now.

I second what Jenn said about using a hipster of some sort if you have one. If not, I would refuse to let anyone else take her from you. I know you want to be kind and respectful, but it can be very confusing for Wesleigh. You could explain your feelings to your guide and ask her to step in whenever someone tries to take her.

Another thing that is good for bonding is to hold her while standing in front of the mirror. Olivia hated it and sobbed the first few times, but it really does help.

I so look forward to your updates and I'm still praying every day!

~Lynn

Anonymous said...

First off I have to say WESLEIGH JANE is just ADORABLE in her hat!!!! What a doll!! I can only imagine the "hurt" your heart felt yesterday. Praying for a happier today, a ecstatic tommorrow and a blissful forever!!!

Snekcip

Rachel Capello said...

Jennifer, It was hard to read the passage about the two of you lying there looking into each other's eyes without crying. How precious! Your sweet words of love are going down deep into her little soul. Your strength comes from the Lord. I know that He will show you all that she needs as each day comes and goes. She is absolutely beautiful with the hat and without!! I love you friend.
Rachel Capello

ww said...

Really enjoyed the 2 posts in a row - thanks Jennifer and Diana! Love the outfits and those boots are so cute! Wesleigh is so beautiful. Have really enjoyed the photos and seeing how happy your family is. In time it will get easier since your family is so loving and wonderful and it's probably harder since she is under the weather. Praying for your family, Wendy

Linda said...

I am so grateful to hear from those who have walked through this. I am learning a lot. Watching and experiencing this even from so great a distance has been so much more wonderful than I ever dreamed. I can't wait to meet my new granddaughter! I love her so much already. Love you all, Mama

Everyday Mom Designs said...

I am happy that there seems to be progress.. I know it will get better and easier for everyone as each day passes. I wish you all the best and hope it gets easier fast.

Love to you,
Ashley

Anonymous said...

Hi Jennifer,
Beautiful photos - thanks for sharing your photos and your heart with us. Wondering how the ergo went and if there are a few Chinese phrases the guide can teach you to say to Wesleigh. Good to hear the progress with her daddy and the sweet moments you had with her staring into each other's eyes. It will continue to get better and better. Take care, Cathy

redmaryjanes said...

Everything is going to work out just fine. It just takes time for her to understand who you are, that you are permananent and that she can trust you completely. It will happen.

I love her big flowers and bows. Dressing little girls is so fun. She is just beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there....like your dad said, you are on a mission ordained by God. Your strength comes from HIM! Hugs, jen smith

Anonymous said...

I have been so anxiously following every morning, and I can't begin to comprehend all the emotions you must be experiencing -- much less all that Wesleigh is experiencing. We are praying for a continuing bond and trust that only God can and WILL and IS forming -- remember "His mercies are new every morning, Great is HIS faithfulness."
I love you, girl!
Fran

Keisha said...

First off..
Chinese people HATE to see a child cry!! My opinion.. GET OVER IT! For real. I know your guide was tryin to be helpful.. but honestly. Tell them no.. I've got her!
I had a Chinese STRANGER woman (on our 1st plane ride WITH Faith) unbuckle her seat belt and reached out for Faith.. to tAKE HER.. to make her stop cryin!
I went OFF! Momma Bear.. came out in me and I told her to SIT down! She was fine.. she just didn't want me to hold her. THE PLANE WAS TRYING to LAND during all this drama! The whole plane gave me the EVIL eye as we got off.. but I DID not care. Just let them try & take her from me LOL!!!!

I--WE -- had to show Faith that we were not leaving her.. or going anywhere! lol! like or not.. we were her parents!
She got over it.. and it made our bond to her that much stronger!

Bless her heart.. I hate she is sick.. I hope she feels better soon!!!!

Aaron and Erica said...

Praising God for all of the answered prayers so far and continuing to ask for His wisdom, grace and mercy for your family.

Love, love, love the flower hat...she is too stinkin adorable! I also love the picture of one of your boys with the stacking cups on his head. It's clear they are in love w/ her already :)

Take it one day, one hour, or one minute at a time...

Leah Mei said...

One day at a time. For what its worth, I think you are all doing great. Being away from home with a "normal" routine in itself is hard. For us, I think that once we got to Guangzhou, Leah noticed that the scenery changed but we didn't and some how that made a difference. I am so jealous that Wesleigh sleeps through the night!

Daisy

Keisha said...

I wanted to add too..that through God,.. WJ will learn to trust you and Richard. It will happen...
I'm praying for you guys! Hang in there..this will pass.
It's very hard to see them take to someone else, but it won't last.. trust me. She will see that she has an Awesome family.. that she can't help but LOVE!!!
BIG HUGS!
Keisha

Pink Velvet Mommy said...

Keep your chin up and bows on!! It is so hard and I think it is hard long after day 3. Our daughter grieved hard the first week, and while it did improve daily.... I would say her grieving continued and her trust not built for about a month. I felt after we arrived home and got over the dreaded jet lag is when we really began to make progress in gaining her trust. I would not let that guide hold her again for anything!! I took a bjourn with us to Taiwan, but when I got home we immediately went and bought the ergo and I would put Hayden in it for several hours a day. I think it REALLY helped a lot and prior to travel I am not sure I would have believed it.
Your daughter is beautiful!! I know you know how different things will be in just 3 short months, but when you are in the thick of it, and your sleep is compromised, food is an issue, and you are living in a hotel room.....it is HARD to remember that and much less make it a mantra.

Your boys looks like they are just giddy with their new sister and I am certain that will bring about wonderful changes so quickly once you get home!!!
You are headed for warm weather and that will make things better for everyone. It looks REALLY cold there right now. Although the weather here in Dallas is less than desirable right now, so I am sure it is similar in LA! Hopefully we will be over this cold snap before you return.

Heidi Smith said...

Wow! What an incredible journey thus far!! Looking into Wesleighs eyes like that must have felt like a moment frozen in time!! One you will never forget!! We are so excited for all of you and the blessing that you will be in each others lives!! God is so faithful and to see His plan unfold is amazing!! Our thoughts, love and prayers are with you all!!

The Byrd's Nest said...

Cannot really add much to all of the precious advice given to you my friend except this. I would not let anyone take her from you again...ever. If necessary, I would even stay at the hotel all day by myself with her...just for some extra time. Imagine how their little heads are just spinning. Lottie was sick the whole time we were in China and so was I. We stayed in the hotel while the rest of the family went on the outings. It's okay to miss something....you are doing such a fabulous job. I love all of her outfits. Each day will slowly get better. Praying for you all.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Praying for all y'all through this... it's such an emotional week, filled with amazing highs and very stressful lows. Wesleigh Jane will come to know you, trust you and love you with time and God's grace. It will get better as each week passes. (((hugs)))

Jodee Leader said...

The poor little thing! It must be so hard and confusing for her! Hoping and praying each day gets a little better! Hang in there! You are doing a great job with her!

Ashley said...

Ok - all I can say is that hat is too much - absolutely adorable!!!!

Praying for you on your journey, Ashley

Tricia said...

Jen,
I am so excited to find you. We are in Denham Springs and waiting for our LOA for our 11 month old daughter Lydda. I hope we get to meet when we get back from China. Maybe this summer. I love reading about your darling Wesleigh. She is beautiful. Thank you for being so honest about how Wesleigh is acting. It really helps those waiting parents to know that it will be hard, and we need to be prepared. I am in love with the large bows and flowers. I will need to know where to pick some up before traveling. I want Lydda to definitely make all those southern ladies proud. I already told my husband I wanted to put big flowers in her hair. I was excited to show him a picture of Wesleigh so he could see what I was talking about. I don't think he is excited about the size of the bow and flower, but I AM.
I know you are extremely busy, but one day I would love for you to stop by our blog to see our precious little one too.

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