Baby pictures? Baby pictures are supposed to be cute and cuddly. It is not fair that the only pictures I have for Wesleigh are this one:
Where her orphanage beds are in the background (and because I stole it from the internet, it's not even big enough to print a 4x6)
.... And this one:
that I had to photoshop the fly off her arm!!
I'm sad. Sad that one day, she will want more...and I don't have them to give to her. This is the picture Wesleigh sees and says "I a baby and I fall asleep in your lap":
I love that. And I suspect, this will be the picture she chooses to bring.
She will be so proud to share it with her class and that makes me happy. But someday, she will realize that she is almost 2 in this picture, not really a baby.
Gracie is not as bad, thanks to Pearl River Outreach. PRO takes pics of the children on a regular basis that are better than the regular "orphanage mugshot". Because of this, Gracie has a few more to choose from: (the unshaved head doesn't hurt either!)
I am curious to see what picture Gracie chooses. I am printing 10 of each so I don't have to go through this every year. Unfortunately, there won't be more to choose from later :(
I know that this is something most parents deal with when you adopt an older child. I know it will be fine. I know that God has His hand on my girls and they have such a future and a hope. I know that God has given and will give them amazing teachers who appreciate their history. But tonight....I'm sad. Grieving their loss. When I pick up those prints and help the girls choose which they want to bring, we will celebrate their life and ooh and ahh over what adorable babies they were and how precious they were (and are) :)
17 comments:
I so feel your pain!! Carissa started kindergarten this past week and they do an "All About Me" poster that is hung up for two weeks. Found out through the weekly newsletter, she will be the first one so I will be gathering her stuff this week. I am, however, thankful that her teacher is an adoptive mom herself and there is a sibling set adopted from Guatemala. Thankful that she will be pro-active if any questions are asked.
We will have to go through that soon,too. Feeling your pain.
Oh man, I have not had to do that yet for Janie. Just hurts my heart to think of it. Madeline is not quite so bad since we did get her at 9 1/2 months so we have "baby" pics. Just today I was watching them play and thinking about how different all of our lives are, for the better because of God's plan. Madeline has been asking hard questions since she was 3 so we are already there with her, but Janie just talks about her yaya as she calls her foster mother. Boy did she love her, very sweet and sad at the same time. We need to catch up soon!!!!
I can't imagine your sorrow. Praying for your heart as well as your precious babies'. So thankful you followed God's call to bring these precious souls into your family. I can't imagine these two girlies being more loved!
Two words... I know...
All of these sweet photos of your baby girls bring back such great memories... Especially that first one of Tea Cup standing outside! That is when I nicknamed her! And as for miss GJ... She had us all at "ni hao!"
Love ya,
Di
I am sure it is really tough. I had not thought of how it is even tougher as they are older. I faced this a little too and Kate was 10 months old. Still kind of a baby. But not nearly as young as they other photos.
GREAT idea to print several as I was scrambling the other day and gave a copy away that i am not sure i have the file for (my hard drive dropped and I lost tons of photos)
K
I haven't even thought that far yet. :( I think the youngest of Mia is 14 months, but we do not have many at all. I also have none of her orphanage. They told me they weren't aloud to take pics of the orphanage and gave me my disposable camera back. I was bummed because I wanted something to show her. Your girls are such cuties. Maybe someday they can meet Mia who they prayed for. :)
I know!! I feel sad for Faith,.. when McKenna says things like.."Momma when I was a baby did I cry?, Did I.....?
I can answer her! Faith,.. not so much. She will ask me, but she knows that her foster mommy took GREAT care of her, & we have a few pictures too that they took when she was a couple of months old. Thank GOD for those! It breaks my heart that I don't know all of those questions that she has... :( But, I focus on what a "GOD SENT" her foster parents were. We pray for them & talk about them.
I know how you feel girl.
Oh friend, how I relate. One of our kiddos was in a special care unit that we got a whole photo album from so we have pictures from when he was a few days old on. But with the girls, we have very little. Thankfully the family that sponsored Clara's foster care program found us and sent us a couple of her update pictures that they received but poor A, we have her referral pictures and 1 picture of her with her foster mom taken just a few days before we got there on a disposable camera... really nothing form the first 15 months of her life. We are working on a lifebook together for her and it makes me so sad that we have so little info for her about her first year:(
I do love the first day of preschool picture on your last post, the girls look adorable in their matching outfits!
Jolie's orphanage gave us a book of photos of JOlie at various ages, she just looks like a completely different child. And when she tells me I not want to stay in china I want to stay with you, just kind hits me.
I went through this 2 weeks ago. It made me sad thinking about the questions to come, and how she tells people that she and I are from China, although we have had age appropriate conversations, she is still small and things are not all that clear yet. I sent a picture we took in China. The only "baby" picture we have is the one from the finding ad as she was 17 months when we got her. It did allow the opportunity for an email to the teacher, who is wonderful I might add, who did not know Leah was adopted. We had a very nice conversation that made me feel at ease that she would appropriately handle anything or topic that may come up later in the year.
I can't even imagine what that's like, but remember this: There are so many that are still there and aren't getting the opportunity for 'show and tell'. For this you have done a wonderful thing and are giving these beautiful girls a chance at something they might not have otherwise.
I can believe it's hard to think of that. I can believe it breaks your heart to think of what they had before and how you (and so many others) can't share the answers of what they were like when they were born (I know I asked my mother those same questions, even as an adult)... but they have so much more because of your selflessness and love, and that will help them deal with the not knowing (and, obviously, I don't mean more stuff... I mean more love, more stability, more family).
Also, this will open their classmates up to something they might not otherwise know... adoption, and what a wonderful thing it can be. Any time you can help educate other people about something, especially at a young age, you're doing an extra good thing.
I had a classmate when I was very young who'd lost an eye through an illness when she was young. She had a glass eye, and it was 'weird', but because I was exposed to it so young it quickly became normal. I was also exposed to a handicapped uncle (in a wheelchair) when I was 8 because of an accident. That also became 'normal' to me, and I know how to deal with and interact with people who have a handicap, something way too many people don't know how to do.
It might be sad now, but you're touching so many more lives than just Wesleigh and Gracie this way. You're opening up the eyes and minds of many kids, and a few of them might think differently about adoption because of it... and it won't seem 'weird' to them.
I've read your blog for some time, but this is the first time I've commented. Our little one came from a Half the Sky orphanage so we have some baby photos, but I understand how you feel, it's not the same. One other way to look at this is as an opportunity to educate the school- our school does a different version of the All About Me- they bring in a favorite photo- it doesn't have to be a baby picture. They way the activity is structured it's meant to be inclusive for all types of families.... There is a also great info on Adoptive Families magazine website- an actual handout you can give to the school about making star student or all about me day inclusive. Your girls are darling and make me smile.
Best,
Antinette Mama to Hadley
Sorry about your hurting heart. Wesleigh and Gracie have such a priceless story. You could "photoshop" the orphanage beds out...but that really isnt telling their true story. That is their story...sad as it is...that is what makes those precious girls resilient and loved even more.
I have realized I can't change the circumstances of how Bre entered our lives. I realize...that is her story. Well she came home on Friday with an ALL ABOUT ME poster. This project is due on Friday. Her poster actually has pre-printed questions on "My favorite food", My favorite thing to do and things of that nature. I think it's more sensitive to the "children who may have been adopted or in foster care" and may not have "baby pictures". Although you can add pictures, it doesn't necessarily require any. Bre's adoption story is somewhat different and actually I looked forward to sitting down and working on her poster. She is keenly aware of her adoption story.
It has been an exciting 2weeks of school for her. Grandparents day was on last Thurs and it worked perfectly for her. My parents and husband parents are deceased, Bre's BIOLOGICAL grandparents were in town visiting and able to surprise her and attend the luncheon at her school. So wish I was there to capture the moment on camera. They said she was SO surprised!! When I picked her up after school she came running telling me all about her special day. That was a priceless moments. I know we have many milestones to reach in her years in school and I can't help but be excited. From ALL ABOUT ME posters to WHAT DO I WEAR TO PROM is gonna be one I can't wait to encounter again! Sending you CYBERHUGS and remember...you will get thru this as will Wesleigh and Gracie!!
BTW...I remember that picture of Wesleigh. Look at all that hair now!!!
It is that time of year....my heart breaks again for the answers I don't have for little Em. But I rejoice in the answers I do have...that she now gets to hear all about her true rescuer (not us) but her loving heavenly father. All our kids stories are not a surprise to the Lord, and I am trusting Him to help us all answer the hard questions!
Your girls are getting so big. Your boys remind me of my 4 boys as they show amazing love towards their sisters! Such a blessing!
Thanks for sharing your heart on this tender issue....
Christine
I went through the same thing...baby pictures and one night Emma's homework for preschool was to write down three of her first words. It got to me way more than I was expecting it to...:(
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